Chances are you’re your own worst critic. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. A little criticism of yourself can actually help to keep you grounded and allow you to work toward being your best self.
But, letting negative self-talk get out of hand will get you nowhere. It can affect your relationships, your work performance, and your family life. Instead of pushing you to do better, negative self-talk often reminds you of your failures.
This kind of talk can even lead to depression and anxiety if you don’t get it under control. Of course, that’s often easier said than done. But, it’s not impossible.
If you’re struggling with negative self-talk, use these six easy ways to beat it, and silence that critic inside you for good.
Don’t Go From Negative to Positive
Many people will tell you the best way to combat negative thinking is with positive thinking. This is only “half true.” If you have a negative thought about yourself, trying to immediately switch it to a positive one rarely works. In fact, it could leave you feeling even worse.
Instead, try thinking in transitional terms. For example, if you’re stuck on a project at work and you think “I’m not smart enough for this,” find a transitional thought. It might be something like, “I don’t quite get this, what can I do to make it clearer?”
By using transitional thoughts, you can actually begin a thought process that works out the negativity.
Question Your Thoughts
More often than not, the negative thoughts we have about ourselves are exaggerated. You may think you botched a presentation at work, but chances are, no one else felt the same way.
To combat these thoughts, question them. Ask yourself if the situation was really that bad, or if you’re as guilty as you initially thought. This allows you to slow down the thought process and make clearer conclusions.
Be Aware of Your Inner Critic
One of the best ways to banish negative self-talk is to be aware of it. Our inner dialogue happens constantly, so we’re often on auto-pilot and don’t recognize it. That isn’t necessarily a good thing when it comes to speaking to yourself in a negative manner.
If you find that you’re being hard on yourself, pause and recognize it. Some people even benefit from giving their inner critic a name. When you’re more aware of this inner critic, you can slow down and learn how to silence them.
Try Self-Soothing Techniques
Negative self-talk often comes because we’re stressed or anxious. Unfortunately, beating yourself up is likely to make you feel even more stressed.
Trying different calming techniques is a great way to clear your mind and push those negative thoughts aside. People respond differently to certain techniques; find the one that works for you. Things like deep breathing, meditation, or even yoga can help.
Argue With Your Inner Critic
Recognizing your inner critic is only half the battle. Don’t be afraid to talk back with them, or even argue with them. Make a stand for yourself, and convince that critic that you aren’t a failure.
It might seem silly to “talk” to yourself. And, of course, it isn’t a conversation that needs to happen out loud. But, once you’re aware of your negative self-talk, it’s important to think about how you can counter those thoughts, and come up with a compelling argument against them.
Find the Worst-Case Scenario
Our negative self-talk often focuses on worst-case scenario situations. So, why not ask yourself what would happen if one of those scenarios came true? Think about the worst possible thing that could happen in one of those situations.
Then, decide if it would really be so bad. Or, think about what you would do to fix it? When you can make your biggest fear into something less-frightening, you take away the power of that negative self-talk.
This kind of talk and thinking can really control your life if you give it the chance. By learning how to beat it and taking control of your thoughts, you can have a more fulfilling and less-stressful life.
For some people, it takes a lot of work and practice to get rid of negative self-talk altogether. So, while you shouldn’t expect it to happen overnight, it’s absolutely possible to get rid of it over time.